WELL MY BABY IS HAVING HIS BIRTHDAY TOMORROW AND I AM EXCITED FOR HIM AND YET I AM A LITTLE SAD TOO! IT SEEMS AS IF HE HAS GROWN UP SO FAST AND I HAVE MISSED EVERYTHING. I KNOW I DID MISS A FEW THINGS BUT STILL I FEEL LIKE I MISSED EVERYTHING. WAS I NOT PAYING ATTENTION? OR DOES IT REALLY HAPPEN THAT FAST. I KNOW HE IS ONLY GOING TO BE 8 BUT IT SEEMS TO ME HE SHOULD STILL BE 3. HE IS SUCH A LITTLE "MAN". HE DOESNT NEED MY HELP WITH MUCH AND HE NEVER WANTS TO BE HOME ANYMORE!! HE HAS A LOT OF FRIENDS AND PLACES TO GO AND THINGS TO DO. YES AT 8 THEY ARE RUNNING AROUND.. ITS LIKE HE IS A TEENAGER WITHOUT THE HORMONES. I WANT TO CRY AND YET I AM SO PROUD OF HIM. HE IS LIKE HIS MOMMY IN A LOT OF WAYS HE DOESNT LOOK MUCH LIKE ME BUT HE ACTS A LOT LIKE ME. HE IS VERY SENSITIVE AND LOVING. I DONT KNOW WHERE THAT COMES FROM. REALLY I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO SHOW MY FEELINGS MUCH. ALSO I AM NOT VERY SENSITIVE TO PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS. I AM NOT SAYING IT IS SOMETHING I AM PROUD OF BUT IT IS WHO I AM. SOMETIME I WONDER IF HE IS LIKED OR IF PEOPLE FIND HIM ANNOYING. I MEAN HE IS FULL OF ENERGY AND HE ALWAYS WANTS TO BE AROUND PEOPLE. AT HOME HE IS NEVER WANTING TO BE HOME OR HE IS OUTSIDE PLAYING OR IN HIS ROOM WATCHING T.V OR PLAYING VIDEO GAMES BUT IF WE ARE OUT AND ABOUT AND I STOP TO TALK HE HAS TO BE NOTICED. OR SOMETHING. HA HA!!!! I KNOW SOME PEOPLE ARE NICE BECAUSE HE IS A KID BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE NICE BUT RUDELY SO! I LOVE HIM AS HE IS BUT I DONT WANT PEOPLE ALL STANK BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BEING BOTHERED. I HAVE TO REMIND HIM THAT PEOPLE DONT LIKE TO BE BOTHERED ALL THE TIME. HE WILL JUST LOOK AT ME AND SAY "WHY?" I DONT KNOW REALLY. KIDS ARE KIDS. HE SEEMS TO MAKE FRIENDS VERY EASILY BECAUSE MY FRONT YARD ALWAYS HAS A LOT OF KIDS IN IT. BUT I LOVE IT. I LOVE THE FACT KIDS LIKE HIM AND THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE BEING AT MY HOUSE. HE IS GREAT AT SPORTS AND WE LOVE TO WATCH HIM. I MEAN COACHES FOR SCHOOL WATCH HIM NOW AND ARE LIKE WE CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM IN SCHOOL SPORTS. THAT COULD BE A GOOD THING HUH? I WANT MY SON TO DO WHATEVER MAKES HIM HAPPY. I FEEL LIKE I AM REALLY HARD ON HIM AND I KNOW I AM TO BE HONEST. I JUST WANT HIM TO BE A BETTER PERSON THEN I WAS AND THAT HIS REAL FATHER IS. I DONT WANT HIM TO TAKE THE LONG ROAD TO GET SOMEWHERE LIKE I DID. I WENT TO HELL AND BACK AND TO HELL AGAIN TO BECOME THE PERSON I AM TODAY. NOW FOR HIS REAL FATHER HE STILL DOESNT HAVE A CLUE AND PROBABLY NEVER WILL. SO I AM ON MY SON ALL THE TIME SCHOOL, SCHOOL. CHOURES, CHOURES. I WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND RESPONSABILITY AND HARDWROK NOTHING IS FREE. I WANT HIM TO BE INDEPENDENT IN ALL HE DOES. I WANT HIM TO FINISH SCHOOL AND GO TO COLLEGE AND BE SOMEBODY GREAT!! I KNOW HE HAS IT IN HIM AND I WILL SEE HIM THROUGH IT. I WILL BE THERE FOR HIM AND RIDE HIS BUTT ALL THE WAY IF I HAVE TO. NOBODY DID THAT FOR ME UNTIL IT WAS TO LATE. I FOUND EVERYTHING OUT THE HARD WAY AND I CANT PPUT MY SON THROUGH THAT. I KNOW HE WILL HAVE TO LEARN SOMETHINGS ON HIS OWN BUT I WILL NOT LET HIM FALL SO FAR HE CANT RECOVER. I AM HIS MOTHER AND HE IS MY HEART AND MY SOUL AND NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT OR BREAK THAT. I TEND TO SPOIL HIM AT TIMES BUT HE IS SO WORTH IT AND I WILL LOVE HIM LIKE NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE HIM FOR HE WILL BE GREAT AND I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN EVERYTHING HE DOES.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 comments on My baby is not a baby!
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Oh my gosh I so feel you!! I oldest boy turned 8 a couple of weeks ago and I cried. He is going through some of the same things. Never wanting to be home and his friends are now so important. Good Luck! They are such a blesssing.
Well mt son isn't 8 but he did turn 4 today...he is my youngest. I have 3 others that are 8,7 and 5. My oldest are NEVER home they are always at the playground or out front with all the kids. But I understand what you mean about not wanting them to take the long raod. I feel the same way. I had my oldest on graduation day from high school becasue I was to worried about boys and sex and drugs to care about my future. I am a stronger person now and I have a great job and I am going through college finally. I have pretty much raised my kids on my own becasue my husband is a former Marine and was NEVER home, It was hard going through life and I will be damned if I let my kids try to pull that stuff. They do have an understanding with daddy though..."No boyfriends till I'm 25" LOL...yeah right....I sometimes just sit at the pnd with the kids and watch them feed the ducks and I just stare at them and smile about how proud I am to have them and how proud I am that they are good kids, very respectful very hard working and oh so loving.
I know what you mean it feels good to know your kids arent doingas bad as you have had too!!! props to you. I always love to hear a mother changing her life for her kids.